2003-01-29 - 9:27 p.m.

While I was talking to Dave earlier tonight, we started talking about Staind & that song Epiphany. When Mike & I broke up in 2001, that is all I listened to. Over & over & over. Even when I listen to it now, I choke up. It brings waves of hate & sadness & yelling & pleading & hurt over me. It's amazing how one song can remind me of 3 months of pain. It reminds me of driving to Baton Rouge (Liz lived there w/ my aunt---long story) to stay w/ Liz & driving around Mandeville wanting to die. It reminds me of packing up my house, hoping & wishing that Mike would walk in & say "HAHA!!! It's all a joke!" instead of telling me how better off w/ out me he was. God how I gave myself away. God how he tore me up. I would have killed for him, you know that? How utterly pathetic.

It's over now, isn't it?

Amazing.

Those who say you will never love again are wrong. Those who say time doesn't heal all wounds are wrong. Yeah, it has taken a long time. And yes, to this day I have a moment of weakness where I want to run "home" & go back 2 years ago.

But not anytime recent & not anytime in the near future.

Cold-Gone Away
Do you pray In the night
Can you appreciate the wind
And I won't care
I won't fight
I need you close to sing
It's the same beginning
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life
In words
And I can't breathe
When you cry
But I'll be there to hold you tight
And I would kill
I would fight
To keep you close
I keep singing the same way
I won't live
If you died
If I can feel you in the wind
And this is me
It's my life
I'll need you close to sing
It's the same beginning
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life
In words
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life
And I can't say
And I don't know
How far
I'll go
And I can't say
And I don't know
How far
I'll go
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life
In words
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life

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