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2003-03-09 - 10:58 p.m. I think I am trying to get myself fired. For the past month, I have been no help when it comes to selling or being in my area or even about giving half a shit. I thought it was b.c. I was getting lazy or something. But I don't know anymore. My boss thinks it's b.c. Michelle works a counter over so I'm distracted. Maybe. Or maybe I am tired of the women I work w/ acting like a bunch of petty, retarded, fucked-up assholes. Just a guess. I thought Josh was going to get deployed Friday. He called me @ work & said they will probably leave this weekend. He was depressed but ready. Then that night he drank himself into a fucked up state. He kept yelling my name, screaming "I want Misty!!!" to everyone. He called yesturday to tell me that they are NOT getting deployed to the Middle East, but rather to the field for 2 days. The sad thing is, everyone already called their families to tell them they were leaving. I cried Friday night. Oh how I cried. I was so sad for him. He hates it there SO MUCH, & then to have to leave to go into war??? How scary. But I have good news: Josh's band is opening for Home Grown, Finch, Something Corporate & The Movielife next Saturday!!!!!!! I am trying to get him to record it, but he doesn't think they allow cameras. I am just so proud, it's beyond me. He is coming here for a week (July 5th-July 11th or 12th). I am stunned in a way...& a tad bit afraid. I mean, I'm going to have to entertain him for a whole week, here, in this stupid town. He is going to hate it. That's why I think we should go somewhere. Here he is, on leave for 2 weeks, all the way from Germany, coming here before going to see his mom & he wants to waste it on coming to this ghetto ass place? Negative. We are going on a trip. Somewhere. But not here. I have got to move out of here. I think that's the reasoning for me not wanting to work. I hope so. I hope it's nothing like, some mental break-down. That would probably suck. I'm going to bed. Work again tomorrow. I don't even know why I bother.
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