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2003-03-20 - 9:37 a.m. Oh man. Last night was rough. I was watching Star-Search (HUSH! I like to watch the dancers) when the news broke in. The sirens in Baghdad was going off, which is why they were reporting. Then the bombs & noise & lights happened & it scared me. I almost threw up. All of this is scary to me. Sure it's not happening over here, & God forbid that it it does, but shit. Those poor people. I'm hoping that this is fast-fighting. Go in, kick ass, spit on them, get the fuck out. Hoping.... So I stayed up until around 2 am this morning. I couldn't sleep. The whole ordeal had creeped me out. I watched True Life: I'm A Computer Playing Geek That Isn't Ever Going To Get Anything Other Than My Hand Or Some Skanky Internet Slut. (True Life: I'm a Gamer) Those nerds. This one dude played that retarded Golden Tee game until 3 in the damn morning to win back his $20. I like PS2 & all, & I have been known to get up in the wee hours of the morning to play 007 again. But uhhhhh....then I go out INTO THE REAL WORLD. One guy on there was the Pac-Man Champion Of The World. A.K.A.-Mr. Never Gonna Get Any Josh woke me up @ around 6:15 this morning. No training for them today. Just the movers in there, packing up all of their stuff to ship home. He sounded well. I sent him a email last night...he got it. He also got my letter today. My letter & email that I sent containing some emotions going on through my head, which he said nothing about, not that I really wanted to talk about it. But I sure didn't want to hear "I got your letter today. HEY DUDE!!! ARE WE GOING TO GET BEER??!!!" Or. "I sent you a email last night, Josh." "Yeah I got it." * * *
* * That was that in the email. And you know, this whole time I have been NOT saying anything to him....no saying "we need to talk", as in THE talk, & no getting upset when he mentions Brooke-the ex, which he does sometimes in the oddest of conversations. I know he called her yesturday. He told me. I know that she sends him emails full of I miss you's & I want to get back together's. He read it to me. I don't want to be girly about it, however, I haven't brought up anything pertaining to past relationships I have had. He does. He is either not over her...or....well that's all I can come up w/. She doesn't know when he is leaving; I do. He told me. His mom doesn't even know. He is sending me a box full of things he wants me to hang on to for him. I don't think she is getting a box. But then again, I don't know. Several people could be getting a box. But whatever, right? Tell me to stop thinking things...ASSUME-ing things. To ASSUME is to make a Ass out of U and me. I try to live by that. But being a girl can get in the way.
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