|
|
2003-03-23 - 8:59 p.m. Well..... He is gone now. Off to Iraq. God I feel horrible. He called me on the way to work, & I told him that he has been weird the past 2 days. And he was. Due do all the shit on his mind, I think. He told me he would call me in a couple of hours while I was @ work. Everytime the phone rang, I would RUN to answer it. Never him. I was helping this lady for about 15 min., I ring up her crap, & the phone rings. JOSH! yayayayayayay! But shit. Here comes that lady again. I actually LIED to her about having a eyeshadow, told her we didn't so she would leave & let me get back to the phone. Josh & I talk for a little bit. He had to go so he could call his dad. He was a little.....off. I mean, he was READY to go, I guess & was just freaked out. So it's time to say bye, I cry, hurry & hang up. Whew. The part I was dreading was over. 45 min. later....he calls again. That voice. Oh God. We joked like we always do. Laughed. Talked trash. We told each other we were going to miss each other. Letters we are going to write. What we are going to do when he comes back home. Just.....talked. I asked him to call my cell & leave one last message for me. I can't listen to it again. It's funny....talking about beating off in the sand or something. But he starts telling me he is going to miss me & can't wait to see me. I won't listen to it for awhile. And that kinda helped. Before I was slighty taken by the sudden lack of calls during the past 2 days. So I stopped by the store on the way home. Bought a few things. Glanced @ the card aisle. Teared up. No cards for awhile. I have to wait for his first letter before I can use the address he gave me, to see if it's one I can use. On the way home I sang Juliana Theory, & thought about how, in 6 months, I just might be able to touch the one person I know I am right for. I thought I hear the cell phone. I throw the car into park, empty my purse, see the numbers--they are always unknown & so fucked up-- the call ends. So I haul ass to my house, which is around the corner, & grab my calling card. But the antenna beats me & starts lighting up. Before I hear the phone, I answer. "HELLO!?" " Hey you. "Oh my God. Hey." "Listen. I have to turn my cell phone in b.c. it's time to go, but I just wanted you to know that I am going to miss you." "Oh God I'm going to miss you, too." "Everything is okay, isn't it." "Everything is fine, Josh. It's all okay." "I'm going to write you. Every chance I get. So I'll see you when I get back?" "Oh yeah you will." "Be good & be safe & you will hear from me soon." "Alright you. Be careful. Get home." "Alright. I have to go. It's time for me to go. I just wanted to tell you that." "Bye Josh." "Bye you." Call ends.
|