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2003-06-09 - 10:55 p.m. I think I have depression again. I have this feeling of impending doom. Like something is on my mind, but I don't know what. And Josh hasn't called since Friday. He was sent to the hospital b.c. he has NEW-MOAN-YAH. Sound it out b.c. I can't spell. Thursday they flew him to Kuwait City, Kuwait to the big medical center there. He called Friday morning. We had a nice conversation. He said he was getting better, fever was going down. He SOUNDED alright. Same retard. He said he had access to the phone most of the time. He was going to call me later on that night. It's Monday night. Nothing. Part of me is worried, then I get mad, then worried, then mad @ him for making me worry. I know he can't help it, or @ least I'm guessing he can't. BUT. You know me. In my mind, he has dropped me, he is over me, we will never talk again. Blah blah blah blah. I'm empty b.c. I don't know where he is & if he is okay. Remember that box I was scared to send him? I sent it. All 19 lbs. $27.00, too. But I don't think he will get it for another couple of days. Today I sent him the Warped Tour 2003 set, b.c. he is upset he can't go. You need to buy it, I might add. 5 bucks @ Target. I sent that today...another 4 bucks. He is costing too much money. I hope he appreciates this. And I hope he effin calls me back. I hate this. I hate my mind.
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