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2003-06-20 - 2:48 p.m. I still have SARS. Or whatever it is that has made my ear, throat, nose, & face it's new home, it's still here. I like to think that it is something really really bad, i.e. SARS, but I know it's just a cold. Or flu. Or sinus's. Or SARS. Josh has been able to call more. I talked to him 3 times yesturday. He called @ work, then surprised me 2 hours later w/ another call, then called my cell phone 7 times, but my phone has been acting up & I couldn't take the call, but he finally got through. Things are good over there. Might come home soon, might not. All he talks about is Warped Tour, & how he can't go, so that makes me feel bad. I sent him the 2003 Warped Tour cd set last week, b.c. he won't be there. He doesn't know I sent it. Hopefully he will get it soon. He got the box. Said I spent too much money. Wants to drop a wad of money on me when he gets back. I told him that wasn't the reason I sent all of that. Who cares if he buys me anything. But he did plan something w/ this guy in his platoon from Baton Rouge. Some super sexy secret. HOWEVER... He talked about BROOKE again. And that's allowed, right? I mean, they did date & crap. He hasn't really said too much about her in a few weeks. Until yesturday. "....so & so are going to Warped Tour. Brooke might go. I don't care if she goes. She's been weirding out on me. Everytime I call she acts strange. It would be cool if she went, she is like, my best friend." And about the H20 autograph that he sent me to "take care of" for him...."You better guard that thing w/ your life. There should be secruity around it @ all times. I had to pull away from my nagging ex girlfriend to get that signed." Just stop talking about her, please. Maybe I have more manners than that, I guess or it's b.c. he is a guy & doesn't know what it feels/sounds like. Maybe he wants to re-date her. Which is what I think. Or he misses her. And that is cool. He is in Iraq. He misses toilet paper for crying out loud. All last night I went through the 'I'm not good enough for him' phase. I'm too fat. I'm not cute enough. I'm not living in Florida. I don't surf. I won't be @ Warped Tour this year. I'm not punk enough. I'm 23, not 21. You know...typical Misty shit. Inside I know what I am worth. It's just fear talking. I am scared of relationships & setting myself up & getting hurt. I, my friends, have turned into a guy. Update: -5:00 pm- Josh just called. He bought me a turban today. Romantic, yes?
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